Project Runway Season Four, episode 10: WWF or WTF?
Fine; so it's really WWE. But the question still stands: WTF?
Chris: "Yay! Another challenge with drag queens!"
I wish. Actually this challenge turned out to be much more interesting than I thought it would. I really thought it was going to be so stupid and boring and then, by the end, I was all, "hey, that didn't totally suck!"
Heidi: "That will be our new motto!"
Bravo: it doesn't totally suck!™
Yeah, that's kinda catchy. OK, so I also have to point out how annoyed I am that Bravo gave away the surprise prior to the episode. At the end of the last episode they showed clips for this week with all the grunting and yelling behind closed doors and we were left in suspense wondering what the challenge would be. But then, while we were watching Make Me a Supermodel, which, by the way, Doesn't Totally Suck™, they showed a different teaser that showed us that the designers would be designers for female wrestlers. Why would they act like it's a big surprise and then give it away? I really try not to find out what the challenge is, which is a challenge in itself because it means not even reading the TV guide.
So, I wasn't planning to watch that supermodel show but Other Eric was watching it and I got sucked in because it's really kind of HOT! It's just a show where the producers are sitting around saying, "Let's make a challenge where everyone is naked!" Yeah, OK! The only problem with the show is that almost none of the contestants are supermodel material. I've never seen that Tyra show so I have nothing to compare it to but I just can't believe these are the best people they could find.
Oh, sorry; back to Project Runway. That's why we're here, right? We start the episode with Jillian telling Sweet P that they can't let it be all boys going to Bryant Park. Meanwhile, the boys are in their fort:
Boys: "I call to order this meeting of the He-Man Woman Haters Club. First rule: no girls allowed."
Basically, whatever happens, we can be sure that it's going to be all girls going to Bryant Park.
Everyone is still hating on Ricky:
Christian: "Can you believe he had a ruffle on that dress?"
Doesn't Christian put ruffles on everything?
Christian: "That's completely different. When I do ruffles it isn't tacky. Why am I explaining myself to you?"
Ricky is complaining about how the other designers don't respect him. Remember when Ricky didn't get immunity last week? Never mind; it probably isn't important. Shhh! Heidi's coming:
Heidi: "Ready for your next challenge?"
Designers: "We're going to say 'yes' and then you're going to say 'too bad,' right?"
Heidi: "Oh, have I done that before?"
The designers try to guess what the challenge will be:
Chris: "I think we'll have to make one of those giant chicken costumes that people wear to pass out fliers."
Jillian: "I think we'll have to make flight-attendant uniforms."
Sweet P: "Obviously, from what Heidi was wearing, we'll have to make costumes for the women of World Wrestling Entertainment."
Christian: "Where does Sweet P come up with this crap?"
Tim takes the designers on a field trip. Yes, another field trip. This one is even dumber than usual:
Tim: "We're going for a walk."
Jillian: "Well, I hope it isn't far because I'm wearing these shoes made out of razor blades."
Tim: "Nope, we're just going to the Project Runway Auditorium."
I've never heard of it. What the hell is the Project Runway Auditorium?
Tim: "You know; it's right Between the Top Chef Arena and the Blow Out Stadium."
Well, whatever it is I'm sure it's classy. The designers hear the distinctive sounds of women's professional wrestling. It sounds like cold, hard cash.
We meet the women of the WWE. Has anyone ever heard of that? I kind of remember the WWF. Is this just the women's version?
Tim: "As you can see, these women have really gigantic breasts and obviously they are a little shy about them. They are trying to earn money for breast reduction surgery but, until then, you should try to create outfits than minimize the bust area."
Wrestlers: "No, we actually had them enlarged."
Tim: "What? This is intentional? Well, chacun à son goût."
Wrestlers: "Yeah, that's what we always say."
Again, this is more product placement that I just don't understand. Are Project Runway viewers really going to watch the WWE now? OK, I admit that my "awareness" of the WWE has increased by 100% because I do actually know that it exists now. But I'm still never going to watch it.
The designers meet their "divas." Sweet P is scared of her client, Candice:
Sweet P: "This week it's one tiny mistake and you're out."
But apparently ten weeks of huge mistakes and you're still in.
Jillian: "So, we were watching wrestling DVDs that we got through BLOCKBUSTER Total Access™ . . ."
Wait, Blockbuster Total what?
Jillian: "BLOCKBUSTER Total Access™. Only BLOCKBUSTER Total Access™ gives the convenience of renting movies online and the choice of how you return them: by mail or bringing them to a participating BLOCKBUSTER store, where you can exchange them for new movies or discounted game rentals on the spot (up to monthly plan limits on exchanges).*"
* Separate, complimentary in-store membership required for in-store rentals. In-store movie rentals are subject to store rental terms and conditions, including due dates and charges which may apply to rentals not returned by the due date. See store for complete in-store rental terms and conditions. Free in-store rentals must be returned to the store where they were originally rented. See your receipt for store location and due dates.
Wow, I'll have to try that!
Jillian: "You should! It will totally change your life!"
Hey, Sweet P, why don't you say something completely random?
Sweet P: "I can't believe we haven't arm-wrestled!"
That will do.
In the design room Rami is trying to drape a bra. Tim is freaking out about Sweet P's garment, as usual:
Tim: "Jesus, Sweet P. What the hell is wrong with you?"
Sweet P: "Well, that's helpful."
Christian: "Sweet P's is so tacky. And that is so inappropriate for this challenge. I'm going to help her because no matter what I do it's still going to suck so I don't have to worry."
Candice: "I hope he helps because this looks like something I could buy off the rack at the stripper store. And not the really classy stripper store but the cheap stripper store."
Yeah, I always ask, "what's the point in making something that you can already buy right off the rack at your neighborhood stripper store?"
Before we get to the runway, Kara Saun has a message for you:
Kara: "Read my blog!"
No, thanks. On to the runway. Our guest judges are the renowned duo Gilbert and George. Here's Heidi:
Heidi: "Hello, bitches! I thought I would show you mortals what a red dress should look like."
Holy crap, Jezebel, that is a red dress!
Bette Davis: "That dress is so black you just know it has to be red."
I hate to break it to you Bette, but we don't film in black and white anymore.
Whatever Christian or Sweet P did must have worked because Sweet P's outfit actually looks a lot better on the runway than it did in the design room. It's not great but it's not as bad as I thought it would be. Candice, however, is kind of a bitch about it:
Candice: "It's not as nice as the things I usually wear."
Well, why don't you go to the stripper store and get something you like?
Candice: "I will!"
Michael: "It's a little Eva Gabor in Green Acres."
Good one, Michael! How about "it's a little Agnes Moorehead in Bewitched"?
Michael: "Mine was better."
Jillian's outfit was pretty good. It reminded me of a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader outfit. I've never actually seen one but I imagine that's what it would look like. It's a successful look but I just don't feel like it took that much effort.
Other Eric: "What difference does that make? The only thing that matters is that it's a successful look!"
OK, stop yelling at me!
Christian's outfit looked pretty damn hot!
Christian: "I know, right? I'm totally going to win!"
Or not. The judges really love Chris's. Other Eric loved the sparkly lining fabric. The hoodie was pretty cool. I think I preferred Christian's just because I like the fact that Christian thinks about leg coverings instead of always making skirts or shorts, like everyone else. But I'm fine with Chris winning.
Heidi: "Good; because Chris won and we wouldn't want you to be unhappy."
Well, that is so sweet for Heidi to be concerned about my feelings!
So, on to the losers:
Ricky made a cute orange swim suit and an indescribably hideous gold smock to cover it up.
But, as bad as it is, I actually think Rami's outfit is worse. It's a big pink mess. I just hate it. I know Rami thinks that color was a "risk" and he should get credit for being so "daring" but that particular color of pink just looked really ugly with that woman's "skin-tone." And the top made her "breasts" look saggy.
Nina: "This does not look like the American girl next door. This outfit is way too fashion forward and European for us in this country."
Rami: "Thank you for noticing! That's because I'm not American!"
I think Rami should be out.
Heidi: "Too bad. Ricky is out."
Michael: "That look is so Rue McClanahan in Three's Company."
I think Michael's point is that this is a look that shouldn't exist.